Saturday, February 27, 2010

jumbles

I've been jotting down ideas on this imaginary notepad in my mind for a long time. Ideas for things to write here, things I want to tell people but don't have the guts, things I'll never tell anyone, and mostly ideas for a book. Corey pokes me in the ribs about writing a book anytime we read a new one that is particularly engaging or watch a movie about some aspiring writer. Last night we finished "Julie & Julia" which I found surprisingly lovely. My problem is, I think I'm subconsciously coming up with ideas for everyone else. I want to write something that will please people, but nothing genuine ever comes from that so I always end up stuck and not believing in myself. I also wonder if I should write something completely fictional or stick to what I know and add a little of myself to the mix. It just seems so daunting, like a project I'll start and then stick in the corner hoping to finish if I keep it in sight, the one that just gets junk stacked on it. If only I could find a story deep within me that I could write just for myself...I think that would be the one worth reading.

I have another post I really want to write about my odd view of my role in this marriage of mine, but I need to get some rest. I'll let it stew a bit before I open the lid here.

4 comments:

  1. You have such a gift of writing! You are able to articulate your heart so well...look forward to reading your future book! ;)

    PS. I loved Julie&Julia as well! Beautiful food, good marriages and women doing what they love...delicious.

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  2. I can relate to feeling like you're trying to please other people when thinking of ideas for writing a book. I'm slowly putting together a book topic, in coming up with a dissertation project. I often feel bound by trends in the profession and by the fact that I want to work on important figures and important ideas, but I'm just a little grad student. I've slowly come to a topic that I like (and that basically appeases my department), but it's taken time and many false starts. I guess what I'm saying is that if you're thinking about writing a book and don't know what you want to write about, keeping this blog is a good way to find your way. Discover by doing. And you know, if you start something, and you decide it isn't genuine, you can do something else.

    Sometimes my ginger tea bags have little 'sayings' about how to live. Usually they're totally ridiculous, but one has stuck with me: "A relaxed mind is a creative mind." Or as my brother's old playstation snowboarding game used to say, "don't force it; feel it." I try to remember stuff like that when I'm freaking out about "writing a whole dissertation" and making it really genuine and inspiring.

    You'll find something great, Jen! You will!

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  3. I didn't realize you were such a great writer, Jen! Get 'er done!

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  4. Thanks ladies, for all of the encouragement!

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